I've never done this before, which I'm pretty sure is the starting point for most first-time bloggers as creatively stunted as I am. Basically, I wanted to do this because I have a feck-load of thoughts going around in my head that if I expressed them out-loud to any of my immediate family or friends they might want to consider not spending so much time around me.
I don't doubt for a minute that no-one besides myself will venture to read what most likely promises to be three days of pretentious drivelling bollocks before I get bored or find a new fad, but I'm going to attempt this anyway. The longest I ever kept a diary was for a couple of months, in which I wrote about a couple of dreams I had, nerves about my upcoming examinations and sellotaped a picture of a yawning baby hedgehog. The book I bought in a state of vile optimism was a lot thicker than I ever could have hoped to fill, and now lies pointlessly empty amongst a pile of discarded Stephanie Meyer books on the floor next to my wardrobe as I couldn't bring myself to keep them with what could actually be described as literature.
Last night, I decided to try and turn myself into an owl. And by this I mean nocturnal, but the owl is my favourite of all the nocturnal creatures. I stayed up until about 6am before heading up to bed to watch Shrek. In this time, I found that being left alone with my mind was rather disturbing and decided to vent my thoughts onto facebook, resulting in this:
Deanne Cougar Evans Four channels are currently screening Big Brother live, and I'm still awake. Just hit me.
15 hours ago · Comment ·Like
Deanne Cougar Evans Only 2 friends are online. I almost feel as though I have beaten facebook, and indeed, the Internet itself.
14 hours ago · Comment ·Like
Deanne Cougar Evans Things I think about at five in the morning:
Wow, no one's online.
How come England only gets tornadoes in Birmingham?
Confessions of a Shopaholic is a background movie and nothing else.
How to really freak out the Archbishop of Canterbury.
If I make toast will the sound of the toaster wake my parents?
Also, how many family members could I call to say "I love you" if my plane were to crash, taking into account the time my phone takes to turn on, and what order would I do it in, then upon impact in the Pacific ocean, would the plane sink, could I stay afloat on a detached wing if there wasn't any room on an inflatable raft, if I was merely floating in the ocean in an inflatable vest how likely would it be that I get eaten by a shark.
14 hours ago · Comment ·Like
This led me to thinking that rather than having all of my retarded whims and fancies boradcasted where people I know will see, I will stick them on here for... lets face it, the rest of this week, probably.
You would not believe the levels of overdrive my mind reaches when I have nothing else to do. I'd try writing a screenplay to fulfil my hopeful career in film making, but that requires writing in a structure which I quickly tire of.
Bloody hell, my phone just went off and scared the shit out of me.
I'm home alone tonight so I'll probably do another one of these things later. Trust me, it will be rife with topical humour and whimsical thought bubbles.
Ending this type of thing is always difficult. I feel like I should come up with some form of signature.
P.s. They just tried to tell me broadcasted isn't a word. So I'm making it one. Also, blogger is a word, but bloggers isn't? The Internet is stupid.
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